verging_on_random

Mmmmm …. whales ….

August 30, 2007 on 2:05 pm | In Uncategorized |

Great commotion on the headland today when I went for my walk. Right in close to shore, just behind the break, was a pod of dolphins. Suddenly this big black shape surfaced amongst them and I got all intrigued. What was happening - was it an APEC security submarine? Had the Chinese brought Harold Holt back? But no, it was just a whale.

In about 30 seconds people were rushing from everywhere, jostling and pushing and being generally bad-mannered in their rush to get to look. Half of them were on their mobiles, ringing friends and family and random strangers just so they could tell them they were looking at a whale. Well actually they were looking at an occasional blow of water vapour from a big black object followed by a glimpse of a tail, but it seemed to make them happy.

I’ve never really got this whale thing. When lived at Collaroy, right on the beach front, we had a whale take up residence a few hundred metres off the beach for a few days. It was bloody pandemonium. People parked anywhere - I couldn’t get in or out of my driveway half the time. This big mob of whale-watchers seemed to be infected with a collective insanity, like a flock of turkeys. “It’s heading towards Narrabeen” one of them would screech and they’d all jump in their cars, drive over anyone’s roses that got in the way and surge up the coast without paying the slightest attention to anyone who was trying to do normal things like drive in the opposite direction. Half an hour later there’d be the sound of revving engines and slamming doors to signal that they’d occupied your front lawn again.

It was the same thing this morning. One bloke from a building site rushed up as I was walking away from the beach, telling me with wild-eyed excitement “There’s a whale right in close!” I said “I know” and kept walking and he looked at me as if I was a certifiable lunatic. Other people were coming from shops and cafes. It was like Jesus was making the second coming or something, right there in Cabarita.

Whales are OK I guess. I got nothing against them. I just don’t see why they cause grown adults to behave like two year olds being told Santa’s coming. Maybe it’s a race memory thing, IDK. It might all tie back to the ancient myths … Jonah and the whale, Sinbad and the whale … perhaps there’s some ancient connection that’s been preserved for millennia in song and rhyme.

Did our ancestors cross the ocean from Africa on some sort of whale device? Maybe that’s where the ancient legend of the worm-riders of Dune originated. Oh wait, that was a work of fiction … I’m getting carried away.

Anyway I feel sorry for the Japanese and Norwegians and other people who’ve been demonised just because they want to eat the bloody things. I mean whales are ginormous masses of high quality protein conveniently designed so they have to surface every now and again in range of a well-directed harpoon. Of course people want to eat them. Obviously that’s why god made them for us! Sheesh.

Cows are handsome beasts - well except when they’re drooling, which is a lot of the time, but they do have nice eyes - but people have no trouble eating them (STFU about the Hindus, I’m making a general argument here). Little baby baa-lambs are about as cute a thing as you could ever wish to see as long as you look at them from the front - dags hanging off the back end spoil the cuteness a bit - but we chomp into a leg of spring lamb no worries. Likewise with pigs, chickens, ducks, turkeys and kangaroos. Somebody explain why a whale deserves not eating more than Skippy for god’s sake. I draw the line at bunnies, having had one as a mate for nine years, but I’m willing to concede that this is a personal idiosyncrasy and there’s no reason why other people shouldn’t hoe into a nice plate of rabbit stew if they feel like it. And of course don’t even get started on all the other animals living in the sea that we slaughter and munch on every day. Did you ever look closely into the innocent trusting eyes of a bream? Or watch a clever little octopus learn how to open a jar? We see all these things but it doesn’t stop us carving them up for dinner.

And yet after scoffing all these adorable furry or feathered animals, lots of folk hyperventilate with rage at the thought of eating a whale and want to send the navy to sink any ship with a harpoon. No wonder the Eskimos shake their heads in wonder and mutter “akritomayok” under their breath when they read about the latest high drama at the Whaling Commission.