verging_on_random

Remember dad

It’s no wonder universities have such a bad name in some quarters, when certain academics engage in attention-seeking behaviour so shamelessly. Like this for example:

A Sydney men’s health expert says support needs to be provided for the more than 400,000 separated and divorced dads in Australia this Father’s Day.

What kind of support does he have in mind? Maybe we can get small children to volunteer to go door-to-door handing out bottles of after-shave on Sunday morning.

And what about us blokes who’ve never gotten to be fathers in the first place? We need support too dammit.

A bottle of Jack Daniels every September would help to ease the pain … maybe Labor can make it an election promise.

Mmmmm …. whales ….

Great commotion on the headland today when I went for my walk. Right in close to shore, just behind the break, was a pod of dolphins. Suddenly this big black shape surfaced amongst them and I got all intrigued. What was happening - was it an APEC security submarine? Had the Chinese brought Harold Holt back? But no, it was just a whale.

In about 30 seconds people were rushing from everywhere, jostling and pushing and being generally bad-mannered in their rush to get to look. Half of them were on their mobiles, ringing friends and family and random strangers just so they could tell them they were looking at a whale. Well actually they were looking at an occasional blow of water vapour from a big black object followed by a glimpse of a tail, but it seemed to make them happy.

I’ve never really got this whale thing. When lived at Collaroy, right on the beach front, we had a whale take up residence a few hundred metres off the beach for a few days. It was bloody pandemonium. People parked anywhere - I couldn’t get in or out of my driveway half the time. This big mob of whale-watchers seemed to be infected with a collective insanity, like a flock of turkeys. “It’s heading towards Narrabeen” one of them would screech and they’d all jump in their cars, drive over anyone’s roses that got in the way and surge up the coast without paying the slightest attention to anyone who was trying to do normal things like drive in the opposite direction. Half an hour later there’d be the sound of revving engines and slamming doors to signal that they’d occupied your front lawn again.

It was the same thing this morning. One bloke from a building site rushed up as I was walking away from the beach, telling me with wild-eyed excitement “There’s a whale right in close!” I said “I know” and kept walking and he looked at me as if I was a certifiable lunatic. Other people were coming from shops and cafes. It was like Jesus was making the second coming or something, right there in Cabarita.

Whales are OK I guess. I got nothing against them. I just don’t see why they cause grown adults to behave like two year olds being told Santa’s coming. Maybe it’s a race memory thing, IDK. It might all tie back to the ancient myths … Jonah and the whale, Sinbad and the whale … perhaps there’s some ancient connection that’s been preserved for millennia in song and rhyme.

Did our ancestors cross the ocean from Africa on some sort of whale device? Maybe that’s where the ancient legend of the worm-riders of Dune originated. Oh wait, that was a work of fiction … I’m getting carried away.

Anyway I feel sorry for the Japanese and Norwegians and other people who’ve been demonised just because they want to eat the bloody things. I mean whales are ginormous masses of high quality protein conveniently designed so they have to surface every now and again in range of a well-directed harpoon. Of course people want to eat them. Obviously that’s why god made them for us! Sheesh.

Cows are handsome beasts - well except when they’re drooling, which is a lot of the time, but they do have nice eyes - but people have no trouble eating them (STFU about the Hindus, I’m making a general argument here). Little baby baa-lambs are about as cute a thing as you could ever wish to see as long as you look at them from the front - dags hanging off the back end spoil the cuteness a bit - but we chomp into a leg of spring lamb no worries. Likewise with pigs, chickens, ducks, turkeys and kangaroos. Somebody explain why a whale deserves not eating more than Skippy for god’s sake. I draw the line at bunnies, having had one as a mate for nine years, but I’m willing to concede that this is a personal idiosyncrasy and there’s no reason why other people shouldn’t hoe into a nice plate of rabbit stew if they feel like it. And of course don’t even get started on all the other animals living in the sea that we slaughter and munch on every day. Did you ever look closely into the innocent trusting eyes of a bream? Or watch a clever little octopus learn how to open a jar? We see all these things but it doesn’t stop us carving them up for dinner.

And yet after scoffing all these adorable furry or feathered animals, lots of folk hyperventilate with rage at the thought of eating a whale and want to send the navy to sink any ship with a harpoon. No wonder the Eskimos shake their heads in wonder and mutter “akritomayok” under their breath when they read about the latest high drama at the Whaling Commission.

Is Kevin Rudd a new Menzies?

I was underwhelmed by Labor’s latest instalment in its IR policy announced today (I posted about it at Surfdom). However it got me thinking about a more fundamental thread running through Kevin Rudd’s leadership of the ALP: he’s declared war on the unions.

Now it’s nothing new for leading ALP figures to acknowledge the problems caused by the unions having so much influence in the Party. Bob Hawke took on the BLF and the Pilots’ Federation. Paul Keating enthusiastically championed the decline of centralised wage fixing. Simon Crean invested considerable time and energy in restructuring the Party, albeit to little effect.

It’s possible that Kevin Rudd is simply carrying on this tradition and being careful to distance himself from the unions to minimise the impact of the tiresome ‘union bosses’ chanting mouthed by Howard’s mob. However it’s also possible that he sees clearly what needs to be done to recast Labor as a viable political force for the next 20 years, and his vision doesn’t include much of a role for trade unions.

It makes sense. Just as Menzies in the 1940s saw that there were a lot of Australians who didn’t feel that their interests were represented by any of the parties of the day, so Rudd might feel that many contemporary Australians are alienated from politics because they can’t stand Howard’s mob but also feel little empathy with a party like Labor, identified so closely with outdated notions of class warfare and fighting for wage justice. Gordon Brown is apparently toying with the same thoughts in the UK.

Rudd’s behaviour is consistent with that of a man who is intent on driving the unions out of their own party. It’s kind of a political party equivalent of a management buyout. If he can hang on to the leadership while breaking the unions’ hold on the Party, he could fashion a genuinely centre-right progressive party that would leave the Libs floundering as an extremist voice, powerless at state level and increasingly sidelined in Canberra. Sure a lot of disaffected unionists would drift to minor parties (although we’re probably talking in the tens of thousands, not the millions) but it’s not like they’d start voting conservative.

It’s still hard to read Kevin Rudd, but he just might be a man with enough vision and determination to tackle such a long-term strategic challenge. We always tend to fall into the trap of thinking that the status quo will continue indefinitely but even a passing familiarity with history demonstrates that change occurs frequently and unexpectedly. The current alignment of political forces isn’t set in stone in Australia. Someone like Rudd might just be the man to revitalise politics by forging a genuinely new party out of the somewhat ramshackle ALP.

The end of adolescence?

Whenever I start teaching a new class, I run a few ice-breaking exercises to let people get to know each other. One reason is so I can find out how much work experience students have had and what kind. It helps me work out how to design classes if I know how much prior knowledge the students have about organisations and the employment relationship.

When the class consists of local students it’s pretty much a given that everyone will have some work experience. Even when I used to teach at TAFE and some students’ only reason for being enrolled was to satisfy Centrelink’s activity test, they’d usually done paid employment somewhere or other.

I was surprised when I began to teach international students to find that young Australians aren’t really typical. When I asked Korean, or African, or Chinese, or Middle Eastern undergraduates about their work experience, more often than not they would answer “None”. They had gone to school, and now they were at university. They’d get a job later, after they’d finished their studies … much like my generation did back in the 1960s.

I used to wonder if this reflected the fact that most of these international students came from middle class families who were comparatively well-off by the standards of their home countries. It seemed doubtful, given that the wealthiest international students are increasingly likely to study in Europe or North America. Many who come to Australia do so only after their families have made great financial sacrifices (which adds a new dimension to failing one of them, knowing that they will shame their families and might have to go home in disgrace, but that’s another issue).

Anyway there was a story at the weekend that claims Australian teenagers work more than any other country in the world.

A report by the United States Department of Labour, comparing international labour force data, says that Australia has more teens in the workforce than any other developed country.

A Chartbook of International Labour Comparisons, covering 1995 to 2005, finds that 60.6 per cent of 15- to 19-year-olds are working, compared with just 9.1 per cent of South Korean teenagers. Teenage rates in the US are 43.7 per cent, while 30 per cent of German and 13 per cent of Italian teenagers are in the labour market.

It’s not really any of my business of course, but I think this is just depressing. So many students in my classes don’t seem to have much time to have fun any more. They’re taking a full-time study load plus working 15 - 20 hours a week. It’s not at all unusual for students to be employed full-time while enrolled as full-time students; they rush into class late, having come straight from work, and look at the clock all the way through class, waiting to get back there. They ask if they can submit their assignments late and get pissed off when I tell them no, sorry, if they choose to take on such heavy commitments it’s up to them to work out how to meet them.

These stressed-out people present a sad contrast to the many happy carefree international students I meet, here in Australia to study and have a good time. Lots of the Scandinavian students (who are nearly all amazingly good-looking … in my next life I want to come back as a Swede) seem to have one endless party for the whole time they are here, yet most of them get good grades. Students from other places strike their own balances between study and social life but they all seem to be enjoying the student experience. Unfortunately they don’t meet many Australian students … they’re the ones who look permanently harried and seldom have time to stop for a chat.

I don’t pretend to know what the answer is, or even if there’s a question that needs answering. But it does seem to me that these young people have lost a terribly valuable part of their lives, and I’m not convinced that adequate compensation can be found in them having the material rewards that they get from being in the workforce so early. Most of them are in crappy low-paying jobs, when all’s said and done.

And it seems to be a uniquely Australian phenomenon. I wonder why.

Emotional highs in the corporation

From today’s inbox:

We’re excited to let you know that over the coming weeks, PayPal is introducing a new logo.

Shades of those position vacant ads that want somebody ‘passionate about accounts receivable’.

Oh well, take your excitement where you can get it I guess.

Bikies

Bikie gangs are feared and despised. About the worst nightmare a mother could have would be for her son to grow up to be a Bandito.

Or her daughter to be whatever the latest trash-talk in bikie gangs is for a gang … err … bicycle.

Even non-gang bikies have a bad reputation. They ride too fast, their bikes are too loud and they lend a vaguely disreputable air to even a nice neat three bedroom brick veneer home. “Probably renting,” people mutter when they see the Harley in the driveway.

And yet, Australia has given birth to a disproportionately large number of professional bike riding champions who have all resembled the kind of boy-next-door that your mum would happily get to mind the house while the family went off to the beach for the annual holiday. A long time ago there was Wayne Gardiner, then later Mick Doohan. We’ve had at least one more since then, whose name escapes me, but I remember him as being from the same clean-cut straight talking mould, and now we’ve got Casey Stoner and Chris Vermeulen.

They were both interviewed on The 7.30 Report last night and they both presented as immensely likeable young blokes with a good sense of humour and feet firmly on the ground (links here and here). The most refreshing thing was that neither of them gave out with the meaningless tripe that most professional sportspeople serve up to the media these days, courtesy of intensive coaching by media consultants. We just saw two intelligent, personable young blokes answering questions frankly. Indeed Stoner quite unnerved his interviewer by giving such direct honest answers to a few questions that she didn’t seem to know how to proceed. Apart from the fact that they are both self-evidently insane (what kind of death-wishing lunatic loves riding an over-powered Vespa at more than 300 kmh?), it would be hard to imagine better role models for kids.

The contrast between these professional bike riders and the stereotypical bikie couldn’t be more stark. Maybe a few people are borne with the bike-rider gene and shortly after birth it morphs into either the wholesome local-boy-makes-good gene or the dark side claims it for the gangs. I don’t think we’re meant to understand some of these things.

BTW it’s really hard to believe that our budding world champ’s name is fair dinkum. I mean a kid from Tamworth, the home of country music, named Casey Stoner? It’s almost too good to be true .

Anyway good luck to both of them. They’re a better advertisement for Australia than many other sporting pros who’ve had a lot more recognition.

The things you do on a blog

I was moved during the week by a piece in the SMHerald by a young bloke called Daniel Swain. Daniel wrote openly about his experience as a gay kid at high school.

The reason I was moved is that I know how much courage it must have taken for Daniel to come out in the first place, and how much courage it must take every day for him to remain true to himself.

I can speak of his courage because I know how much I lacked it when I was Daniel’s age and every day since. I took the easier path of being a celibate closet case. In retrospect I don’t know if it was the right thing to do but I was never under any illusions about the kind of life that I would have had to lead if I had been open and honest with people. I hope it will be easier for Daniel’s generation but I wouldn’t put money on it. History suggests that gays are only tolerated for short periods, following which oppression and persecution becomes the norm once again.

BTW this is the first time in my whole life that I’ve admitted the truth about my sexuality - to anyone. If you’re wondering “Why now?” I can only answer that I was inspired by the example of another young bloke who lives in Georgia, USA, of all places.

So there you go … never say I don’t try to provide a smorgasbord of blog topics.

APEC

From this distance, the barely-suppressed hysteria about the forthcoming APEC get-together in Sydney is puzzling and annoying. The people who actually live there must be finding it a nightmare.

From September 1 to 10, the city will basically operate under martial law. Great sections of the city will be closed off to the public. God only knows what it’s all going to cost, and the inconvenience and disruption will be staggering.

Yet hardly anyone seems to be objecting, let alone questioning the point of the whole stupid exercise. So maybe someone can answer a couple of simple questions for me:

1. What is this monstrous exercise supposed to accomplish that couldn’t be achieved through normal diplomatic channels and the use of the numerous communication tools that modern technology has made available to us? If I can sit here and enjoy a free video hookup with someone in the USA, surely somebody can download MSN for the prime minister and show him how to use it? I have yet to hear one single concrete measure that this pointless pathetic wank fest is meant to bring to fruition. Indeed it’s hard to see what anybody would expect a meeting of 20 odd government representatives to achieve. All we’ll get are bland speeches and group photos and meaningless communiques about how they all agree to keep talking about stuff.
2. What is with Bush unilaterally deciding he’d arrive and leave a few days early? Anyone else would have been told “Sorry, plans are made, you’d screw up the security arrangements, come when you said you would or don’t come at all.” But of course the very thought of giving the Emperor such a message would have had Howard wetting himself. As far as he’s concerned, the main purpose of the APEC circus is to let him show off all his bestest friends to the rest of Australia. Ha ha, up yours the kids at Earlwood High who used to laugh at Johnny - who’s laughing now, eh? He’d have happily put the whole thing off to Christmas if that’s what it took to get the president of The Most Powerful Nation the World Has Ever Known doing a joint press conference with our John.

Meetings like APEC are designed for one purpose only: to impress upon the general population how insignificant they are compared to their rulers. Look on their works, ye ordinary folk, and despair!

And Australians take it. Supinely they submit to having their city turned into an armed camp for 10 days with barely a murmur of protest … because they have become willing subjects of an increasingly authoritarian state. When I was a kid we lined the roads to wave at the Queen as she drove past, so near we could almost touch her. Now we stand behind temporary walls, modelled no doubt on the ones that have been developed in the Middle East, and watch for distant signs of helicopters transporting The Great and The Good to their ceremonies.

Howard and Downer will tell us what an honour it is for Australia to host this charade. What bullshit. We’re like some tinpot outpost of the ancient Roman Empire, our rulers overcome with a mixture of pride and panic because Caesar is paying one of his rare visits. Expecting anything useful to come of it is absurd. The event is both the means and the end, a celebration of the obsession with power that has taken hold of our government since 2001.

Lovell’s Law

We’re all familiar with Godwin’s law:

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.

I propose Lovell’s variation as follows:

As an online discussion about the forthcoming election grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving the Hawke/Keating Government approaches one.

When it comes to Godwin’s law, ‘There is a tradition in many newsgroups and other Internet discussion forums that once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically “lost” whatever debate was in progress.’

I urge that this tradition be invented and applied immediately with respect to Lovell’s variation. The endless childish inane arguments predicting that a Rudd Government would inevitably see 17% interest rates, the rule of the union bosses, a national recession or any of the other alleged sins committed by the Hawke/Keating Government have become tedious beyond words.

The most depressing thing is that the bloody campaign hasn’t even started yet.

Great throwaway lines

From John Cole’s Balloon Juice (re Iraq):

It is indescribably depressing to watch the morons who thought Terri could walk translate the same fallacy to running a war.