verging_on_random

National emergencies

July 4, 2007 on 8:52 pm | In Uncategorized |

It’s been a while since we had Howard’s mob trying to persuade us that we were living in a state of permanent crisis but they must believe it helps them win elections because they’re at it again. It’s only a few days since we were told about the indigenous child sexual abuse national emergency that has suddenly erupted after a mere 200 years in the making. Now we have the Don’t panic stay calm the doctors won’t hurt you crisis … which is so scary they keep telling us it’s not a crisis at all.

Well if there’s nothing to worry about, why do so many important people keep telling me there’s nothing to worry about? I mean I’d dismissed this Islamist doctor thing as a bit of a non-event … a few seriously deranged guys from the Middle East make right dills of themselves getting their car bombs towed away by parking police and making a Quixotic charge at Glasgow Airport terminal … god only knows what that was supposed to be about but it didn’t seem to have any implications for me. I don’t even wear a kilt. So I kind of put it out of my mind, I mean there are way worse terrorist events in Iraq every single day of the week and I never worry that they might presage a local catastrophe. Wasn’t that the whole point of invading Iraq in the first place: so we could fight the bastards over there and stop them coming here?

But I began to realise my mistake when the prime minister bobbed up on television whenever I turned it on assuring me that there was no need to increase the level of terrorism threat in Australia … but do stay alert won’t you, just in case. Well it had never occurred to me that there was any reason to increase the threat level, but if he was considering it … gosh, maybe there was more to this than met the eye. Especially when the leader of the opposition came on national television and told us all not to worry, and Laughing Phil Ruddock gave a solemn assurance that there was nothing to worry about, and in the same bulletin Peter Beattie said nothing to see here folks, just go about your normal business.

Anyway after all that I was starting to shit myself but I still hadn’t realised how big an issue these botched outrages were on the other side of the world where nobody was hurt except for one of the dipshit wannabe bombers … where was I, oh yeah … I never realised what a big deal they were until today when the prime minister announced solemnly that there was no need to cancel APEC. Now you know it had really really never crossed my mind that because some ratbag leaves a Merc full of nails parked in London that the leaders of APEC are in so much danger that the whole thing should be called off but Howard obviously thinks it’s a sensible suggestion. Otherwise why would he make so much public noise about announcing he wasn’t going to do it?

The prime minister said people were understandably concerned about the potential for attacks following the Gold Coast arrest of an Indian doctor in connection with a series of failed bombings in London and Glasgow.

But he said cancelling the event altogether would send the wrong message to the world.

“We won’t say to the rest of the world, ‘Oh, Sydney isn’t going to have APEC because it might be dangerous’,” Mr Howard said during a visit to the NSW far south coast town of Bega.

“What we will say to the rest of the world is ‘Yes, we will have APEC, we will welcome the leaders of our region to the wonderful, beautiful, international city of Sydney, and we will provide the adequate security’.”

Eat your heart out Winston Churchill. J W Howard’s not gunna be cowed by any number of doctors self-immolating in their fancy Jeep Cherokees.

Well it’s OK for him in his bullet-proof vest and all but he’s got me packing shit now, I don’t mind saying. Cos it would be appallingly irresponsible to over-react to a few bumbling loons in England by trying to make political capital out of their Keystone Cops terrorism, would it not? I mean even acknowledging the possibility that APEC might be cancelled because of the actions of these clowns gives them an importance and a seriousness that could only serve to encourage others to copy them. And our prime minister would never ever place political self-interest above the security of the nation … perish the thought.

When he announces that there’s no need to declare martial law, it will be a signal that Armageddon is nigh.